Girls got it right, boys got it wrong

I live across the street from an elementary school. The sound of recess is as natural as rain. The same sound as when I was a kid in the 50s and as far back and in whatever land you want to go, no doubt. The games they play are basically the same too.

Some things do change. They’re having recess as I type this and I’m laughing. A few girls are chanting in a sing song way, “Girls got it right, boys got it wrong. Girls got it right, boys got it wrong.”

We didn’t have that one in 1956. I googled the expression and nothing comes up except maybe this blog entry.

I also can’t help thinking these are the nondualists of the future. There’s a lot of “I’m right, you’re wrong,” dynamic happening in the nonduality world. “I’m enlightened, you’re not.”

Enlightenment is supposed to be about maturity. Maybe in a relative sense. Toys and games don’t go away, they only change. That’s been my observation in dealing with nonduality and thousands of people over the last ten years.

2 thoughts on “Girls got it right, boys got it wrong

  1. Gerard

    I agree that Enlightenment is most definitely about maturity …about growing up and growing down HA: Kinda paradoxical. Yesterday as I was sitting amongst the crowd of people in the plaza on the bench, I was having a conversation with my mother about … what I don’t remember, but as we were just chatting about some bullshit, I noticed two girls (14 – 15 years at most) – one of them …the much larger girl was holding onto the others hair very tightly, and over and over she was repeatedly using face as a punching bag, I saw this and it reminded me of the all to common days back in Brooklyn NY where this was a common everyday event for Gerard

    I could barely get my arms around this bigger girl to nearly pry her off of the other girl, others in the plaza were so asleep, almost like an episode of night of the living dead – but they were – they were fully asleep – asking “who started it”?

    I witnessed all of this; or, better yet for those who enjoy the language game “All was witnessed.” and all of this had no an inch of Enlightenment to it – not one single food body in that plaza were even close to Enlightenment. Why? Were they not capable of knowing the Absolute; or, were they not capable of Realizing Emptiness – etc?

    That is not what I am saying, like some may say. Because all have the potential to realize, it is just that they were to busy realizing un-ethical behavior as there absolute.

    Now… if your anything like I was some time back, then you would cringe at the words “ETHICAL-UN-ETHICAL” “VIRTUE-NON-VIRTUE” and clearly say “In Non-Duality, They have no place, they are meaning less” I understand that in the face of the Absolute – they mean nothing – they are just concepts; but, we as well are in the relative, we are within the confines of both: “Absolute-Relative.” We cant really speak of one without the other (at-least relatively speaking). And isn’t that where we realized that were abiding (prior) to the claiming we realize the Oneness? So, what was realized? Was it just that we were all pure consciousness? No, it was as well, that by trying to abide in the distorted relative (plaza) we were not free. When such things as witnessing were happening yesterday in the plaza, was witnessing of the inter-connected-ness of all phenomena the only thing being known? No! It was also the clear view of Gerard’s story, everyone’s story!

    I’m a bit “off the page” here, but what I’m trying to say is that as long as there are beings who believe that they are somehow seperate, then, Ethical behavior (regardless of how dual one might take it to be) may be the only way that the masses might have to live with some sense of sanity in their manifestation. How many will actually find this page, any Advaita, or Prasangika, or Dzogchen pages, let alone Non-Duality itself? I’m not counting numbers, but not many. And, how many who do, will continue to see the validity in it? Most won’t “right off the bat”

    But the chances of them following a “Traditional path” although dual in the beginning is what is will offer the seeker better chances to be prepared, for the teachings of such things as: direct; or, such teachings of the Yogacaras or Prasangikas emtiness, yes? And then, there will still be those who are “born realized” so to speak. I was listening to a talk on the Lamrim chen mo (gradual path to enlightenment) recently and this Tibetan Buddhist monk had given a definition of enlightenment and that is what sparked this writing after I read about the “Girls got it right, boys got it wrong” and “How Enlightenment is suppose to be about maturity” – she said something like this for the deffinition of enlightenment according to her school:

    Definition of Enlightenment:

    All the things to be eliminated, have been eliminated; all the things to be developed, have been developed. All the defilements on the mind, both the deluded obscurations, and the obscure (subtle) defilements have been purified and have been removed; All the good qualities, the confidence, the responsibilities, compassion, patience, wisdom, concentration – have all been developed (to the fullest perfection.)


    Love & Light!

    Ps: Nothing that is written by me here is any degrading of such styles of teaching as direct path, etc; it is only being said that it seems that if one wants to get to the no teaching teachings of direct path – Traditional may get them there faster? Or not? 🙂


  2. Jerry Post author

    Hi Gerard,

    Awesome description of the playground incident and related witnessing of it. Brooklyn has always been a tough community. My mother grew up there in 20s and 30s. She said it was rough. I was mentioned to her about some woman who was molested as a child. She pooh-poohed it saying, “We were all molested.”

    The definition of enlightenment stands alongside ones that say there is no self to improve, no qualities to develop or eliminate. However, look at the kids on the playground. They have to be raised as human beings. They need to know there are values, there are qualities to be eliminated and qualities to be developed. So I support traditional teachings, and also the direct ones.



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