The Story of a Holy Trinity

The story of being awake is as insubstantial as the story of not being awake. I don’t like to breathe life into that dynamic of being awake and not being awake, but here is a story:

When I was 7 years old I valued the sense of I Am. The spontaneous utterance was, “I am I am and I am I am.” At age 30 it became a permanent knowing and the spontaneous utterance was, “There is only one day.” At age 45 I was sitting on a rock and the I Am dissolved and the utterance was, “I have arrived … lighter … unscarred.” Those utterances still play on like a holy trinity. The utterance now is existence itself.

An aspirant needs only the sense of existence, or God. Value it and live from the valuing of it, instead of going to a place where someone talks about valuing it and lives from valuing it.

4 thoughts on “The Story of a Holy Trinity

  1. Jerry Post author

    Hi Vicki, thanks for asking. Those web pages aren’t online anymore. The following is from the umbada writing and probably what you’re referring to. I’ve updated it a little:

    At the age of seven I was visited on three occasions by two men. The dominant man I came to know as Umba. Typically I would be awakened from sleep by the sound of his footsteps. They would nearly thunder forth one after the other, slowly paced. With the sound of the footsteps I would shiver in fear of meeting something I was not ready to meet.

    The footsteps would cease and my eyes would open to the presence of a tall, bald, severe looking man wearing a skin-tight gray outfit. As I looked upon him he would three times utter what I came to know as a mantra. The utterance brought a greater fear than the footsteps.

    Then I would fall back asleep and see Umba and the other man beside him. The other man was swarthily complected with a full head of black curly hair. He wore loose comfortable clothes and looked with amusement upon Umba. The other man never directly addressed me, yet I knew him to be the ‘superior’ one, carefree, relaxed, amused at the whole situation, and silent. Over the years it was no doubt this other man from whom I learned far more.

    Years later I recognized Umba as Nityananda. The other man is not clearly identified, but plainly from India. As a kid I had no exposure to Hindu culture, I don’t think. I was brought up in a normal 50s household with rock n roll on the hi fi, a family car with fins, and Ed Sullivan on Sunday night.

    Probably the visitations were stimulated by a parent walking into my room to check on me. The footsteps got transmuted into the encounters with Umba. Native Americans talk about such changes from one being to another kind of being.

    Awareness of I Am

    One day in the midst of these visitations I was playing with toy cars on the hardwood floor of my bedroom. An awakening occurred similar to the one at the colored lights. In this awakening I spontaneously uttered, I am I am and I am I am. There was no rattling off of insights in a matter of seconds as happened at the age of two. There was simply awareness that I Am.

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  2. Vicki Woodyard

    Thank you. Genuine experiences like this, described simply as you just did, provide others with a “felt sense” of nonduality.

    I hope you make this available again at some point.

    I, too, grew up in the fifties, although my childhood took place down south. Elvis was probably nondual and just didn’t know it 😉

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  3. Jerry Post author

    Elvis’s energy body, or whatever it is, lives on. I saw him in concert in April of ’72. He had non-dual tailpipes on his Cadillac.

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