by Tarun Sardana
The journey to the Self is a little complicated:
The more one walks towards it, the farther it goes;
The moment one stops, one finds oneself there.
About the Book
Dissolved—a state where two become one. Just as a river dissolves in the ocean, a raindrop in the water, a fragrance in the air, and a seeker in the Self, realizing that they were never separate.
This book is about the journey of a seeker, Vivek, who goes within to seek the truth and in the process becomes one with it. This is a parable of the dissolving of the ego-self in the ocean of blissful, all-pervading Self – the only Truth.
What is Nirmana and Nirvana
Vivek: Guru Ji, What is Nirmana? Oh, I am sorry, What is Nirvana?
Guru Ji: (Laughs) Son, you picked two beautiful words. The difference between these two words is the journey that every soul has to take and is, in fact, the only purpose of this birth.
Vivek: I don’t get it. Please be kind and explain it to me in detail.
Guru Ji: Sure, Son. Before I proceed, I would like to know your understanding about Nirmana.
Vivek: Nirmana is construction or the act of building. Like, I am doing my Nirmana here. I am seeking the knowledge that will build my intellect and character, help me judge right and wrong, provide me with sufficient knowledge to live my life in a rightful manner. Am I correct, Guru Ji?
Guru Ji: You are absolutely correct. That is what Nirmana is. Now tell me, how many times did you use the word ‘ME’, while defining Nirmana?
Vivek: I guess a lot of times; as it was all about me.
GuruJi: Good. You are absolutely right. Nirmana is all about you. If you look at the word closely; NirMana has a sound of “M”, which is “Mein” in Sanskrit i.e. Me.
Vivek: What is Nirvana then?
GuruJi: Hmmm. Nirvana is just the opposite of Nirmana. In Nirvana, there is no ME. NirVana has a sound of “Va”, which is “Veh” in Sanskrit, which signifies “HE” or “THAT”
Vivek: And who is this “HE” now, or who is “THAT”?
Guru Ji: (Smiles) “You” are “THAT”.
Vivek: Apologies Guru Ji, but I am really confused. I am “ME”. I mean, how can I be “THAT”?
Guru Ji: (Laughs) This is the mystery that every soul needs to solve.
Vivek: Guru Ji, Please be kind enough and help me understand.
Guru Ji: Sure. To understand this, you will have to keep all your past learning aside and become a clean slate. Will you be able to do that?
Guru Ji: What I will share with you is the highest wisdom. With a lot of knowledge already in, there will be no space for this wisdom. For wisdom to seep in, your mind should be empty.
Vivek: I promise Guru Ji. I offer all my learning till now at your Lotus feet and I will start this new learning with nothing in there.
Guru Ji: You surely are the perfect seeker for this knowledge, Vivek
(Vivek smiles and bows down to Guru Ji)
Vivek in Search of Vivek
Guru Ji: Listen Vivek. Now I will share with you the highest of all wisdom. I would like you to close your eyes and tell me, what do you see?
Vivek: (Bows down to Guru Ji and closes his eyes. After a while, he speaks up) I see nothing Guru Ji. It is all blank. Nothing in there.
(Vivek opens his eyes)
Guru Ji: We are not done yet, Son. Keep your eyes closed.
(Vivek apologizes, bows down to Guru Ji and closes his eyes again)
Guru Ji: So what do you see?
Vivek: There is nothing in there Guru Ji. It’s all dark. It’s all empty.
Guru Ji: If your eyes are closed, who is the one, who sees this darkness?
(Long silence. Vivek breaks the silence and speaks up)
Vivek: I don’t know Guru Ji. I mean, it is me but I can’t see myself.
Guru Ji: Don’t worry, Vivek. Just take some more time and see who is this “ME”, who sees this darkness.
(Long silence. No movement. Complete, perfect silence. Vivek
has lost track of time. Everything has come to a standstill.
Vivek again breaks the silence and speaks up)
Vivek: Please help me Guru Ji. I am not able to see myself. I have been doing everything for me up till now but I am not able to see myself. Please be kind and tell me: Who am I?
Guru Ji: I can understand your dilemma Vivek, but it is very important that you find it on your own. My grace is with you, so don’t be scared. Go deep within. Your true Self is already waiting to uncover itself. It has been waiting for years. So don’t get hassled. Dive deep within and you’ll find it.
This time the Silence is much longer. There is no movement. It appears as if Vivek has left his body. Hours pass … Days
pass … Still no movement … Outside, there is complete silence. Inside, whatever was happening only Guru Ji knew or Vivek, if there was still any Vivek left.
Scriptures say, to realize the ultimate truth one has to die. Is
this the death, they talk about? Vivek was dead for the outside
world. Rain, storms, days, nights, hunger … had no effect on him. His breath had stopped.
After a long interval, Vivek opened his eyes, looked at Guru
Ji, smiled and bowed before him. This time, he had no
questions. His eyes were steady and calm. His face
reflected peace. He had nothing but silence to share with Guru Ji.
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Visit Tarun Sardana’s website for more about Dissolved: www.knowi.org